Summah Lilah Gallant

Due Date...In Heaven

Morning our beautiful girl xxx Well today is December 30th, a very important day, but one that hurts mummy and daddy so much. Today is your due date and the day where we finally got to meet you and take you home. I waited for this day for so long, but you aren't here to share it with us. I know your here in spirit...i just wish I could hold you again.

At 11.10am today little angel..the time you were born on September 24th 2008, we will release 3 butterflies, one for you, mummy & daddy. I hope these butterflies fly so high and reach you up in heaven.

We love you so much Summah xxx may you forever rest in peace xxx

Have a lovely due date up in heaven with all your new baby friends and all the beautiful angels xxx

Courtney Hall (Mummy) December 30, 2008

GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART.

~HAPPY CHRISTMAS ~

_______________00___00__ ______________
______________00____ _00_______________
_____________00_____ __00______________
____________00______ ___00_____________
0000000000000____* *____00000000000000
_00________*POPPED IN TO WISH YOU_____00__
___00_________ * MERRY *_________00___
_____00_____ * CHRISTMAS * _______00______
_______00______*ANGEL *________00________
_________00____* + *_____00_________
________00____* HAPPY *_____00________
_______00____ *NEW YEAR *___00_______
______00_______0 0000 0_______00______
_____00_____00______ ____00____00_____
____00___00_____LOVE ____ _______00__00____
___0000_________FROM __________0000___
__00____________JUDE ___________

Jude Swaddle December 14, 2008

It's What's Best For ME!

Dont tell me how to grieve
For a daughter that wasn't yours.
Dont tell me what to think or feel
More hurt for me you'll cause.

What might be good for you
Isnt always good for me.
This path you haven't walked
And for you its luckily.

You wont know the depth of pain
Of HAVING TO lose a child
Your insincerity and hurtful worlds
Just anger me and send me wild.

Ontop of grief and sorrow
You have to try and "get on with life."
But at the same time you are broken
A life of heartache and strife.

All you want to do is scream
Scream "My baby had died"
Just to tell the world that your a mum
But society makes you hide.

People think it's not that bad
It just "wasn't meant to be."
I would rather suffer life time torcher
Than to have her taken from me.

YES it IS that bad
As you question surely it cant be.
You have no idea of the pain
Of someone suffering this misery.

It cant be so bad surely it cant
Its not like the child lived, you say
Its not only her lifeless body you miss
But the life you planned but now its taken away.

A nightmare when you cant wake up
A disturbing sickening feel.
Somedays you wish you had died to
For you know your heart wont heal.

Now that your a mother
But no child to care and love.
They're only in your heart now
As your baby is up above.

So what does mothers day mean
To a mother who can not mother?
Its like a dagger in your heart
A pain just like no other.

Then there's Christmas and birthdays,
Due dates and anniversaries too.
These days just so agonising
What in life do you have left to lose?

A mother without a child
Puts a present under the tree.
While people say its stupid
But they are still my child you see.

Just because she did not live
Doesn't make her any less a child.
I still felt her every move
For that I can force a smile.

Its like society seems to schedule
When my grief must end.
But your not strong enough to fight them
For a situation without an end.

An infant born a stillborn
Is a baby that is STILL born.
So dont think she's less a mother
Because her babies gone.

Dont deny her of her pain
It takes only a strong woman to try and deal.
With something most of you couldn't
A lifetime for a wound to try and heal.

A bereaved parents life
Is like a jigsaw puzzle undone
You have to pick up the pieces and start again
Putting the pieces back to one.

A day, far away you may
Come to complete this mess.
But there will always remain that missing piece
That piece is a special one, that piece is the best.

So this is a journey
A personal one that I must make alone.
So dont tell me what is best for me
I know what is and I will walk this one my own.

Have another child you say
Its not that simple, the pain wont go away
How can you think that is best for ME
No matter if I do Summah will still remain.

Summah, in my heart you remain
For all eternity.
An nothing anyone says or does
They can't take it away from me!

Written In Memory For Our Beautiful Angel xxx Love You So much Summah xxx

Courtney Hall (Mummy) December 12, 2008

It's What's Best For ME!

Dont tell me how to grieve
For a daughter that wasn't yours.
Dont tell me what to think or feel
More hurt for me you'll cause.

What might be good for you
Isnt always good for me.
This path you haven't walked
And for you its luckily.

You wont know the depth of pain
Of HAVING TO lose a child
Your insincerity and hurtful worlds
Just anger me and send me wild.

Ontop of grief and sorrow
You have to try and "get on with life."
But at the same time you are broken
A life of heartache and strife.

All you want to do is scream
Scream "My baby had died"
Just to tell the world that your a mum
But society makes you hide.

People think it's not that bad
It just "wasn't meant to be."
I would rather suffer life time torcher
Than to have her taken from me.

YES it IS that bad
As you question surely it cant be.
You have no idea of the pain
Of someone suffering this misery.

It cant be so bad surely it cant
Its not like the child lived, you say
Its not only her lifeless body you miss
But the life you planned but now its taken away.

A nightmare when you cant wake up
A disturbing sickening feel.
Somedays you wish you had died to
For you know your heart wont heal.

Now that your a mother
But no child to care and love.
They're only in your heart now
As your baby is up above.

So what does mothers day mean
To a mother who can not mother?
Its like a dagger in your heart
A pain just like no other.

Then there's Christmas and birthdays,
Due dates and anniversaries too.
These days just so agonising
What in life do you have left to lose?

A mother without a child
Puts a present under the tree.
While people say its stupid
But they are still my child you see.

Just because she did not live
Doesn't make her any less a child.
I still felt her every move
For that I can force a smile.

Its like society seems to schedule
When my grief must end.
But your not strong enough to fight them
For a situation without an end.

An infant born a stillborn
Is a baby that is STILL born.
So dont think she's less a mother
Because her babies gone.

Dont deny her of her pain
It takes only a strong woman to try and deal.
With something most of you couldn't
A lifetime for a wound to try and heal.

A bereaved parents life
Is like a jigsaw puzzle undone
You have to pick up the pieces and start again
Putting the pieces back to one.

A day, far away you may
Come to complete this mess.
But there will always remain that missing piece
That piece is a special one, that piece is the best.

So this is a journey
A personal one that I must make alone.
So dont tell me what is best for me
I know what is and I will walk this one my own.

Have another child you say
Its not that simple, the pain wont go away
How can you think that is best for ME
No matter if I do Summah will still remain.

Summah, in my heart you remain
For all eternity.
An nothing anyone says or does
They can't take it away from me!

Written In Memory For Our Beautiful Angel xxx Love You So much Summah xxx

Courtney Hall (Mummy) December 12, 2008

merry christmas xx
+ . . * + * * . + * .*.++
. * + * JUST * + .
+ . . * + . + * . * +
* . + *sending.* + .
+ . . * + . + * . * + .
+ , *SOME. +christmas *
+ . . * + . + * . * + .*
.love * *to. * THIS.* .
. * + * * + . *+ *
+ ..PAGE.. * + . +
+ ....* + . + * . * +

’\:’\’\::|::/’::/’/’
....’\’\::’\:|:/’:/’/’....___,•’`�`’•,
.....’\’\’\|/’/’/’......../..........._/
.......’\’\|/’/’...,.~~/=====_/
........[||||].....(_________)
..........||.....,•’`.._....._....`’•,
..........||.../...... (o)(o)` ......\
..........||..|............X ...........I
..........||...\.......\____/......./
..........||.....’•,_............._,•’
.........,||..,~•��\\\\(@)//__
.....,•’`.||..............////\\\.......`’•,
.....’,...||.............////O\\...........\
..,•’`...,||•’`�`’•,...////.....\\..….\
..’,_______,•’..///...O...../......|
.......,|.||.........................\..….|
....../..||.............O.................I
/’��`’•,_||............................./
_.’•.___.~...’`.......,’•._,.•’•,_..•’
.....’•.__,.•’•.,_.,.•’...............

Senga Kerr December 11, 2008

Oh sweetheart I am missing you so much. I wish Mummy could have you back =( life just seems so dull without you.

Love you so much my gorgeous angel
Mummy xxx

Courtney Hall (Mummy) December 4, 2008

Hey little girl, how you doing this morning princess? Well Mummy and Daddy finally got some better answers about what went wrong. The specialist seems to think it was preeclampsia. I know you were there with us yesterday making Mummy & Daddy strong xxx it's nice to know some answers but it still doesnt make it better. I miss you so much Summah I really do...nothing I can do will bring you back and it's killing me. I love you so much sweetheart. xxx

Missing you every second

Love your Mummy xxx

Courtney Hall (Mummy) November 26, 2008

What Makes A Mother?

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard Him say.

"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby's not with you?"

"Yes, you can," He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this God
I want my baby to be here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.

"I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
With all the other children and say...

'We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come strait here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'


"So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson's through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
it's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start

Though some on earth may not realize,
you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!"

Courtney Hall (Mummy) November 24, 2008

An Angel Never Dies

Don’t let them say I wasn’t born,
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I’ve loved you from the start.

Although my body you can’t hold
It doesn’t mean I’m gone
This world was worthy, not of me
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face
You have my word, I’ll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.

You’ll hear that it was meant to be,
God doesn’t make mistakes
But that wont soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.

I’m watching over all you do,
Another child you’ll bear
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips
And then you’ll understand.

Although I’ve never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesn’t mean I never was,
An Angel never dies.
(author unknown)

Courtney Hall (Mummy) November 24, 2008

2 months today...

Hello my little sweetpea xxx Todays another hard day, you know what day it is cause I know you are finding it hard to =( 2 months today when we had to say goodbye and I just wish I could cuddle you and kiss you and make it all go away xxx Words can't explain the heartache I feel, I am so devastated I no longer have you and don't have you for the rest of my life...I have to continue everyday without my little girl and it hurts so bad. I knew life without you before and then you came along and I couldn't imagine life without you and now my biggest nightmare has knocked on my door and you were taken away so cruely.

I hope where ever you are Summah you know how much Daddy and I love you and how hurt we really are. We are so lost without you we just don't know how to make it better...I guess there is no way we can, you're not here with us.

I crave to hear your cry, or hold you in my arms and see those beautiful blue eyes you had staring back into mine. I just crave you.

My heart hurts and is heavy and my body says "hey I gave birth to this little girl, now where is she" my body knows something isn't right, it went through such a beautiful thing and now it wants to nurture that beautiful thing that it created...YOU. But my heart has to try and heal the gaping wound that is so big I dont think it can heal it and my body has to try and find the sense in something that has no sense at all and try to accept that you will never feel my aching arms.

Summah I just miss you so much, I feel so lonely and so lost, I just want you back, how am I suppose to go on without you?! I dont think I can and I dont want to...you're suppose to be in my arms and I am suppose to watch you grow.

I love you so so so much my baby girl and never forget that. You are ALWAYS in my heart and in my thoughts.

Forever Rest In Peace

Love Mummy & Daddy
xxxxx

Courtney Hall (Mummy) November 24, 2008